I am very grateful for this year’s Association assignment, “Looking Science Fairly in the Face.” Like the square a carpenter uses to be sure that a new wall is square to the old wall, this assignment has given me the sense and the way to be sure my thinking is square and straight, in line with Truth, Principle, Love, Mind, Spirit, Soul, Life. It has also given me the opportunity to think about all parts of my experience—home, business, church, citizen—and to pray about how I can better square up my thinking in each of those areas.
This year I’ve had the opportunity to grow in a number of ways that have given me greater joy and freedom from limitation and have enabled me to feel closer to God. One healing that has made a huge difference began as I discovered that my manner of presentation and confrontation in church business meetings was not appreciated, and that I was trying too hard to humanly manage things that should be trusted to prayer. I found that I was acting as if I believed that I personally had to get things to go right.
The issue came to a head at a quarterly business meeting, when it became obvious to me that I was not coming across the way I wanted to. At that point I felt like a greatly disliked outcast, with no place for me in my branch church. Although I thought my motives were right, I realized that I was trying to take personal responsibility for getting the membership to see an error I believed we were accepting. It took some real healing change to accept that I needed to get myself out of the way and let Mind and Principle direct the path of our church membership.
In preparing for the next meeting, I prayed for Mind to reveal what was needed. I realized that many others were praying for this sense of listening, and it was transformative to feel part of that prayer. At the meeting, I totally refrained from pushing the issue personally. I was able to sit quietly and listen to the ideas unfolding, instead of pushing for my sense of right. The result was better than I could have planned. That meeting accomplished more in what seems to be the correct direction than I could have hoped for or thought of.
One of the outcomes is that I’ve been able to accept an appointment to a position in my branch church that has been thought of as a burdensome job that few will accept. So far it has not felt like a burden at all. I’m feeling that I love the responsibilities and can do the work with great joy and purpose. It is giving me the opportunity to express a greater sense of love for my fellow church members and the community.
This growth has led to my seeing how to have more trust in the presence of God and to pray to see it in all parts of my life. This has helped me to trust God more and to see what Mind has to offer, rather than holding to the limitation of human thinking. I am pleasantly surprised at how much more mature and useful I feel.