A tangible sense of divine Love’s presence

One day last spring, I was mowing the lawn wearing a short-sleeved shirt. It was one of the first warm days we’d had, with lots of blue sky and sunshine. That evening both my arms started to itch. I didn’t appear to be sunburned, but that night it was difficult to sleep because of this irritation. I attempted to treat the issue in Christian Science, but the problem persisted for another three days or so and then stopped. Not long after that, I was back in the sun with my arms exposed. The same thing happened. I again attempted to meet the problem in Christian Science. After three days, the problem again subsided, but it came right back the next time my arms were exposed to the sun. This pattern continued a few more times until l decided to simply wear a long-sleeved shirt to avoid dealing with the issue. At the time, I felt there were more urgent matters to deal with.

Then in June, my wife passed away, which was devastating. I felt lost, even abandoned. But this passage from Science and Health came to me and coaxed me back onto a better track of thought: “‘man’s extremity is God’s opportunity.’…Thus He teaches mortals to lay down their fleshliness and gain spirituality. This is done through self-abnegation. Universal Love is the divine way in Christian Science” (Science and Health 266:14–19).

It was clear to me that I wasn’t going to make it through this experience by trying to keep a stiff upper lip. Self-abnegation was the way, dropping the sense of myself as a mortal man left to work it all out on my own and trusting instead that I really was the man God made, forever embraced in His love and guided by His wisdom. I surrendered completely to divine Love.

This statement from Science and Health took on deeper relevance to me: “Thus it is with man, who is but the humble servant of the restful Mind, though it seems otherwise to finite sense” (Science and Health 119:31–1). This helped me see that my sole reason for being was to express God and humbly trust His ever-present goodness and love. As Mrs. Eddy declares, “Man is tributary to God, Spirit, and to nothing else. God’s being is infinity, freedom, harmony, and boundless bliss” (Science and Health 481:2–4).

One evening not long after my wife passed, I was overwhelmed by a tangible sense of divine Love’s presence I had not experienced before. I literally felt embraced by Love, assuring me that I was loved and cared for and that even now my wife was also dearly loved and cared for. We had not been abandoned. I was grateful beyond words for this powerful reassurance and evidence of God’s all-encompassing presence and love.

After this experience, I saw more evidence of Love’s goodness expressed in acts of kindness by friends and fellow church members and by the indispensable help my son provided during this time. We organized an event with neighbors, church members, her family, and many of her students and former colleagues in attendance. It was a joyful time where those present shared their gratitude and love for the many ways she had enriched our lives, eclipsing any sense of sorrow or loss.

In early September, I was invited to a college soccer game to see the grandson of two dear church members play goalie for his team. It was a beautiful late summer day with not a cloud in the sky. I was sitting on the bleachers soaking up the sun’s rays and wearing a short-sleeved shirt. The soccer game lasted about two hours, but I was loving God and the people I was with so much that I wasn’t the least bit concerned about this latest exposure to the sun. That night, there was no hint of itching or discomfort, nor has there been any since.