When I was in the office last week I read the list of healings that were mentioned in the addresses. It was remarkable. Even though I read the periodicals, collect my favorite testimonies, go to church every Wednesday, hear of healings in practice, the “clouds of sense” still try to make healing seem unusual or an exception. Reading of all of these healings (which are only a few of the ones reported to the Association) was like sunshine breaking through. It was a very welcome support to prayer and another reminder of how important it is to write down my healings. So, since Thanksgiving is tomorrow, here is a report.
Toward the end of November last year, I began to feel unwell. Things would become acute about every three or four days. I wasn’t able to sit up or get out of bed for about five months. It was a time of prayer, seeking, striving, some anguish, and considerable physical discomfort.
But the interesting thing is that it was also a time of great love. That may sound unlikely, but as I Iook back on those months, the love is honestly what stands out most.
For example, there was a lovely family harmony. My husband and daughter were very willing to pray or read to me at any time, night or day. We had good-humored gatherings in the bedroom – everyone including the cat on the bed together. They also took over all of the housework and cooking.
There were no movies and there was no television. There were literally no events outside of the home except Sunday church (for my husband and daughter) and grocery shopping. You’d think that would be dreary or burdensome or boring, but it was full of Love. This wasn’t because we are so saintly – we are a very normal family. But Love was blessing us. Everyone in the family agreed that it was the best Christmas we could remember (though we did very few of our traditional things.)
However when it got to be March and the Association topic came, I started to be afraid that I wouldn’t be able to be there. It seemed as if I was a long way off. So I decided that I needed to “get on the road” so to speak, right away. That meant praying consistently about attendance for me and everyone else in the Association.
Though I still wasn’t sure up to a week ahead, the healing came, and I was able to be there with confidence. I was incredibly grateful. It has been a normal active summer and fall.
There’s a passage that was in the references for Association that seems really central to the whole healing. It’s this: “Whatever appears to be law, but partakes not of the nature of God, is not law, but is what Jesus declared it, “a liar, and the father of it.” God is the law of Life, not of death; of health, not of sickness; of good, not of evil. It is this infinitude and oneness of good that silences the supposition that evil is a claimant or a claim. The consciousness of good has no consciousness or knowledge of evil;…” (Mis. 259:3) I still have this passage in my purse.
I learned a lot over these months. The views of Truth come back at various times and bless me again. One of these views is from the simple sentence in Science and Health: “The fountain can rise no higher than its source.” (p. 18) It was clear that if my prayers rested on what I knew or on my arguments – if that was the source – the fountain would only rise as high as that. I’m a pretty good Christian Scientist, but that wasn’t enough. For healing, the source had to be God – divine not human. It had to be infinite, supreme, incorporeal. It had to have the power of Allness.
And, related to this, I needed to learn to listen more. When the challenge or lie came up it wasn’t enough to just slap truths on it. I needed instead to look higher than what I already seemed to know humanly. So I began to think more in terms of seeking, and of revelation. And I thought a lot about the kingdom of God being already within me – that Ego is Mind.
At times it seemed as if there was just a lot of suffering, A few times when it seemed overwhelming I asked for help from a practitioner. I was very grateful for this help.
I became more and more aware of the flow of the divine to consciousness. Angels is one way to describe it – “God’s thoughts passing to man.” Or Immanuel, the “divine influence ever present in human consciousness.” Or Christ “divine message from God to men, speaking to the human consciousness.” Or the Comforter “bringing all things to our remembrance.” Or the Holy Ghost “that influx of divine Science which so illuminated the Pentecostal Day and is now repeating its ancient history.” At times I experienced what Mrs. Eddy calls “greetings glorious from high heaven, whence joys supernal flow…” When I look back at my notes and prayers during those months, I’m very touched by the flow of light and good that came all along the way. Though there were many times when I couldn’t eat, I was being fed and strengthened by the “bread of heaven.”
There have been no lingering symptoms or effects. As I mow the lawn or cut invasives in the wetlands, or take a brisk walk with my daughter, I don’t think of those months at all. It’s mostly at Wednesday Evening Meetings, as I listen to the readings, that I hear ideas that explain my healing or remind me of something that I learned, and am grateful again.