I felt God’s presence and love

This past Thanksgiving morning, I was preparing for church, when quite suddenly I became uncomfortable. A little while later I found myself on the bathroom floor. My husband had followed me because he didn’t think I looked right and wanted to be of whatever help he could. Apparently I had said I wanted to lie down, and he offered to help me to the bed, but I quite literally just laid down in the middle of the bathroom on the floor.

I seemed to be floating in and out of consciousness. My body seemed to be in some sort of turmoil, but there was no pain. Then all of a sudden I was overcome by this tremendous sense of peace, great calm. I was aware of the peace, and it startled me because my thought was: “Wow, I wasn’t prepared for this! I wasn’t expecting this was the way or the time I was to move on. I thought I still had more work to do here.” Right on the heel of those thoughts came this, “But I don’t get to choose. If this is it, then…” And this hymn came instantly to thought, “In heavenly Love abiding no change my heart shall fear.” (Hymn 148) I do remember feeling the meaning behind those words. I wasn’t formulating them into a treatment or deductive reasoning but for so many years I’ve loved that hymn and prayed with it – I just knew what those words were imparting to me. What was being imparted to me was this: “There is nothing to fear, nothing is going on any different than at any other time in my experience. I am the same idea of God yesterday, today, and forever. No matter where I am, or where I’m going, nothing changes; there is no transformation from matter to Spirit. I’m not different or going to be different.”

I remember thinking I didn’t want my adult son to have to witness whatever was going on and my thought briefly went to my daughter and her new baby. But I vividly remember not feeling any sadness; the very next thought was these words from the hymn “God is working His purpose out/ As year succeeds to year/ God is working His purpose out/And the time is drawing near…” (Hymn 82) Again, I felt the power behind those words, which seemed to say to me, “This is all under God’s purpose, so there can be no discord, sadness, grief or despair.”

Then I was aware that my husband was removing my rings from my fingers and my watch from my wrist. One of the last thoughts I was aware of was: “Well, I don’t need them anymore.”

Here’s what I didn’t know was going on. My son called a Christian Science practitioner, who began to pray right away. When the physical condition appeared to become more alarming, my son called the practitioner again and asked whether they should call an ambulance. The practitioner told him, this was the family’s decision, that he and his dad had to make the decision they felt best, however, he would continue to pray. An ambulance was called. I was completely unresponsive, and I was transported to the local hospital. My husband told me later that during that period of time on the bathroom floor, I kept repeating, “it’s not my time, it’s not my time.” He said he remembered years before when my Dad passed away, we had insisted it wasn’t his time. My husband remembered that comment from years before, so I can understand his concern and his fear for me.

When I finally regained consciousness hours later, I was in a bed in a hospital room. It was late in the afternoon on Thanksgiving Day. I became aware my daughter and her husband were there also. Still I seemed to be drifting in and out of sleep or consciousness. It wasn’t until late in the evening I understood there was a practitioner on the case. My son called him and put the phone to my ear. I just listened as he poured in the truth. I was so grateful. I looked over to the table near the bed, and there were my books, my Lesson books, my Pastor and a current Journal. The practitioner had told my son to take them with him to the hospital, as I would need them.

Indeed, I did! It wasn’t until the early hours of the morning I really began to gain my complete consciousness and was able to think clearly and begin to really pray for myself. Despite the fact I was in the emergency room for several hours, and given lots of tests, to which I was thankfully, completely unaware. I wasn’t given any medication to treat anything, nor pain medication. I was never in any pain. Also, I believe as my complete protection, I remember absolutely nothing about being in the emergency room. My husband also told me throughout much of the time, I would be talking. The doctors asked him what I was saying, and he said she is praying. They asked what I was praying and he told them, he wasn’t sure what I was saying, but he was sure I was praying. They asked how he could be so sure, and he said, ”Because that’s what she does; she prays, she prays all the time.”

The medical staff wanted to run a number of other tests that morning. I probably could have insisted on not doing that, but I knew my family was concerned and they needed some medical confirmation. I also felt being discharged would have become more complicated if the thoughts of the medical team weren’t put at ease, that they had done everything they could or have what answers they needed. I remembered the subject of the following week’s Lesson Sermon was “God the only Cause and Creator.” This thought was my only prayer at that moment. It was such a simple, assuring message, I was completely unafraid to submit to what they wanted to do. Knowing that gave me tremendous confidence in our Maker. Just knowing He could only create and cause good, there was nothing to be found, there was nothing that “caused” me to be there. This was simply animal magnetism trying to rear its ugly head, and even trying to eliminate me. I felt this was a form of “mental assassination.”

But even in the middle of the medical scene, I felt God’s presence and love. I allowed the tests, completely unconcerned; the machinery used didn’t terrify me, and I felt calm and completely at peace.

The staff couldn’t have been more loving. Each one of the medical professionals expressed a great deal of kindness and compassion. I felt completely sure there was nothing to be found. Indeed, by noon that Friday, I had completed whatever tests they wanted, answered as many questions as I was asked, even having to repeat the U.S. Presidents, beginning with the present one and going back as far as I was able. They began the discharge procedure around noon, and a few hours later I walked into our home.

The doctors had been quick to point out a few things I might be at risk for and suggested seeing different specialists to follow up. But not one thing attributed to the condition, which seemed to have put me there. Every one of the doctors were quick to point that out. The attending nurse remarked as I was being discharged... “Sometimes, something is just a fluke and can’t be explained!”

On Saturday evening our family gathered for our postponed Thanksgiving Day dinner. My practice is to have each member at the table say what they are grateful for before we begin to eat. Everyone is very cooperative because no one wants to eat a cold dinner. When it was my son’s turn, he said he was so grateful to have witnessed my wonderful healing. I later learned he had either called or texted the practitioner that Saturday evening he was so grateful for Christian Science and for the practitioner’s work and how it had met my need. Perhaps, that was how God was working His purpose out – bringing the recognition that Christian Science does heal!

A few words from the following article help to explain what was really going on scientifically. Margaret Morrison writes: “Life, veritable spiritual life, is never interrupted by the claim of material birth, nor by the experiences which follow that birth on the way to death. None of the storms and stresses, ecstasies or agonies of the dream of mortal living interrupt the clear shining, the purity and spiritual bliss of true Life or of its reflection, man and the universe.” (“Uninterrupted Life” by Margaret Morrison from the CSJ, November 1945.)